Gaz, Taster of Pork (Transcript)
The opening of Mysterious Mysteries of Strange Mystery plays, depicting a magnifying glass creating the words "MYSTERIOUS MYSTERIES" as it passes over while electrodes create the words "STRANGE MYSTERY". A burst of light overtakes the screen and cuts to the Mysterious Mysteries Host standing in front of a view screen with an image of an electronic book on it labeled "SPELLDRIVES". MM Host: Spelldrives.'' (Spelldrive on the view screen opens up) Mysterious, magical tomes for storing spells. Powered by magical power points, they were once used to cast the spells contained within. The largest collection of these ancient sources of mystical knowledge belongs to the boy with the largest head: Dib. ''The view screen shows an image of Dib with a ruler next to his head and the label "STILL GROWING?" Cut to footage from within Dib's room labeled "VIA SATELLITE: DIB". Dib holds two of his spelldrives while the rest lie on the floor around him. Dib: My spelldrives are all drained of their power, but I still think they're neat. MM Host (O.S.): That's very interesting, Dib, but can you tell us more about your head? A power bar appears on the screen. Dib (voice speed-up): As you know, each spell takes up a certain number of power points. I found— MM Host: Your head, Dib! The bar disappears. The camera view pans out to show the MM Host looking at Dib on the view screen. MM Host: Your HEAD! Cut to Dib's room. Dib looks up at the hover view screen with the MM Host. He lifts a remote and turns it off. Gaz suddenly kicks Dib's door in with a giant spiky boot. Gaz stands in the doorway with no such boot in sight. Gaz: Hey! Did you eat all the Franken Chokies? Gaz pulls out a box of Franken Chokies and points to it. Dib: You just missed it! I was on Mysterious Mysteries with my spelldrives! Dib makes a pleased squeal. Gaz shakes up the box of Franken Chokies. Dib: I remember the magical day I found these old things. It was incredible. Cut to Dib standing out on the street drinking a SuckMunkey. A garbage truck drives by (with a whistling driver) and the spelldrives fall out of the truck and land in front of Dib. Dib points at the spelldrives and makes an excited squeal. End flashback. Dib notices a flashing light on one of the spelldrives. Dib: Hey! This drive still has two unused power points! How did I miss that? Me, the obsessive-compulsive Dib! Gaz: Uuuh. Gaz blows a handful of Franken Chokie crumbs into Dib's face. Dib begins choking and falls to the ground, gasping and coughing. Dib crawls over to the spelldrive. Dib: What spell should I (coughs) cast? Dib presses a key. Dib: Hmm, no. Not enough points. Hmph, too bad. A smaller head would be cool. Dib presses more keys. Time passes. Dib's alarm clock reads 2:59 and changes to 3:00. Dib looks at a spell called BERZERKER. Dib: Found one! The Sense of the Shadowhog! Uses 1 power point. The spelldrive screen displays this spell. Dib: Point enhances the sense of— The spelldrive goes into static. Dib: Hmm. Can't read it. But it sounds cool. Enhance something IS good! But what if it doesn't work the way I hope it does? I HAVE A PLAN! Since I have two points, and the spell only takes one, I can just use it twice! I'll just cast it on someone else first! Then, and only then, will I stop talking to myself! Dib opens his door and sneaks out. He goes over to Gaz's door and peeks into her room. She is asleep (and in pink, fuzzy pajamas with wings). He closes her door and returns back to the spelldrive. '' '''Dib': Activating spelldrive! Dib presses the 'CAST SPELL' button. Dib lifts up the drive as a pink fog-like energy seeps out of it. Dib sets the drive down. Dib: Uuuuh! The smell! The energy twirls around Dib, then forms a pig-demon face. Energy Pig: Are you prepared to receive the power of the Shadowhog? Dib's voice has a nasal sound as he tries not to smell the energy. Dib: Ugh, not me. Ugh, but my sister really wants it. The energy pig flies under Gaz's door. Dib follows it into Gaz's room. The energy forms a ring of ethereal pig products over Gaz's head. They suck up into Gaz's mouth and a cloud of pig breath in the shape of a pig's head comes out of her mouth, enveloping her head. Gaz wakes up, coughing. '' '''Gaz': Who? What? Hey! If there's one thing you should know by now, it's to stay OUT OF MY ROOM! Dib: Do you feel different in any way? Gaz: GET OUT! Dib: X-ray vision maybe? Super smell? Gaz: That's it, Dib. SECURITY! The various stuffed animals in her room turn into death machines. They chatter excitedly. Dib runs out. He babbles as a bird stuffed animal grabs him by the head. Gaz examines the taste in her mouth and gags. The stuffed bird flies out a window and drops Dib into a dumpster. Cut to Gaz in the bathroom filling up a glass of water at the sink. Dib walks in, covered in garbage. Dib: You sure you're not feeling super somehow? Gaz: I have a super horrible taste in my mouth! Gaz belches while saying oohhh in Dib's face. Dib: Oh my, no! Dib falls to the ground. Gaz sips the water but belches again. She walks back into her room while Dib remains on the ground. Dib: Father, help me! Cut to the kitchen. Dib sits at the table, pouring a bowl of Coco Splodees. Gaz snatches the box from Dib, grunting angrily. She pours her own bowl. Dib: How are you feeling today, Gaz? Gaz puts a spoonful of Coco Splodees into her mouth and shudders. Dib: What is it? Is there some kind of extra-awareness that you are experiencing? Gaz: This cereal tastes horrible! Gaz pushes her bowl away. Dib eats a spoonful from his bowl. Dib: Tastes fine to me! Gaz grabs the milk and drinks from the carton. She spits it into Dib's face. Dib drinks his glass of milk. Dib: It's not spoiled! It's fine! Gaz pulls out a chicken leg from the Coco Splodees box and bites down, but spits it up. She opens the fridge and grabs a fruit and groans as she bites it. She hurls the fruit and it lands in the cereal bowl. Gaz goes through a sandwich and watermelon slice with similar results. Gaz: Where's Dad shopping now? This is all horrible! HORRIBLE! The background turns into flames for a moment. Dib: Horrible how? Gaz tastes the inside of her mouth. Gaz: Everything tastes like a pig! A PIG! The background turns into a bunch of pig faces. Dib gasps. Dib: The Shadowhog! What could've gone wrong? What? Gaz: Shadow-what? What did you do? Dib: I don't know what you're talking about. Gaz slams the fridge closed and groans. Dib gets up from his seat. Gaz lifts a handful of gummy bears into the air. Dib: My haunted gummy bear collection! Gaz: Tell me what you did, or I'll eat them Dib! I'll eat them all! The gummy bears moan. Dib sweats. Gaz bites the head off of one. A gummy bear spirit floats into the air as Gaz gags on the bite she took. Dib: No! I only did it to give you super powers because you're the greatest sister ever! Gaz puts the entire handful in her mouth and struggles to swallow. Dib: Stop! Maybe I can reverse the spell! Dib runs over to the kitchen table and grabs the spelldrive. He returns with it. Dib: Um... the only spell I can cast is the same one I used on you already! Um... (hits a key) you know... Pig is a reaally good taste! Gaz: SECURITY! Dib: Not the dolls! Nooo! The dolls enter behind Gaz. Gaz: I programmed them to feed on human flesh! (smiles evilly) Dib: But you need me! You need my knowledge of the paranormal! You can't lift this spell off on your own! Gaz snaps her fingers. The dolls deactivate. Gaz: You better lift it soon, or... Gaz snaps her fingers and the dolls' eyes light up. Some of them drool and one rubs its stomach. Dib crawls underneath a gorilla doll and runs up to Gaz. Dib: All right! All right! Just don't worry. I'll cure you. 'Til then, just go about your day, okay? Just be normal! Gaz exits. Cut to Mr. Elliot's class. Mr. Elliot: And that, class, is why I'm so happy today! Innit that great? Huh? The background turns into hearts and flowers. Mr. Elliot: Yeah! The hearts and flowers turn into disgusted little faces upon hearing Gaz's groans. The class looks over to where Gaz sits, her desk covered in chewed up food. She tries more foods, but after each food she cough up more onto her desk. She tosses away a slice of pizza. She tries a candy bar and tosses that away. She does the same with a taco. Gaz screams. Mr. Elliot: Um, Gaz? You can't eat in class. Gaz lifts up an ice cream. Gaz: Have to eat! Must find something that doesn't taste like pig intestine! Gaz touches her tongue to the ice cream and a vision of the energy pig lifts into the air before fading away, squealing. Gaz screams. The candy bar lands on the back of Zootch's chair. The ice cream hits Francine in the head. A donut hits Donutte in the head. A pizza hits Olivia in the head. A whole turkey hits Maddy and sends her hurtling out of her desk. Gaz: Curse you, Dib! Curse you! The entire class gets up and huddles in the corner. Gaz: Curse you! Curse you! The windows shatter. The shattered glass falls down past the windows of Ms. Bitters' class. Dib worriedly leafs through a book while other books lie on the floor around him. '' ''Cut to the cafeteria. Gaz takes a seat next to Dib, who is still leafing through a book. Gaz looks around at other students. Ribgummel holds an apple. He takes a bite as Gaz twitches angrily. Ribgummel chews and then gives a joyful thumbs-up. Gaz turns to her food. She eats French fries and spits them out. She drinks Choco Poop and spits it out. She bites a hamburger and spits it out. All of the food she has been spitting out sticks to the side of Dib's head. Dib doesn't notice as he is intently looking through the book. A chicken leg is thrown onto Dib's head as well. Gaz takes a bite of a hotdog. Gaz: Hey. This tastes okay. But it's a hotdog, so that makes sense. A lifetime of eating nothing but hotdogs... Gaz imagines herself as a morbidly obese woman with mountains of hotdogs all around her and hotdogs raining from the sky. Gaz (V.O.): Everyday, hotdogs! My whole life! Gaz swells up even more and bursts. Cut back to the cafeteria. Gaz screams. She grabs a handful of mashed potatoes and tackles Dib. She holds the potatoes over him. Dib: No, Gaz! Those are the mashed potatoes! Get them away from my eyes! Remember what happened to Zita! The students look over to Zita, who has an eye plaster over one eye. She sobs to herself. Dib: I was only trying to help you out, Gaz! Gaz: You're hiding something! What is it? Dib: Me? Hiding? I was only trying to do something nice for my sister! No! Not my eyes! Think of all the food you'll never eat again if you destroy me now! Gaz lowers the potatoes with an angry growl. She walks off and hurls the potatoes away. Zita screams off-screen. Dib: Zita! Cut to Dib's house. Lightning strikes, forming a pig face. Dib and Gaz walk to the house, holding hands. They run down into Prof. Membrane's lab, where Membrane is working on some sort of bubble with a hamster inside that is being electrocuted. Dib: Dad! Gaz has been cursed and tastes pigs! Gaz takes a bite out of a hotdog. Prof. Membrane: There are no curses, son! Membrane flies up into the air, screaming madly. Prof. Membrane: There must be a scientific explanation! Come on, honey! Are you ready for some horrible tests? A mechanical claw grabs Gaz by the head and lifts her up. Gaz: I... guess so. Membrane grabs Gaz from the claw and puts her on his head. His hair wraps around her. They descend into the ground through some kind of warp. Dib pulls out his laptop and breathes a sigh of relief. Dib: I knew I could count on Dad to not believe me. Dib types in a password. A screen that says "NOW DIALING" appears. Dib: He'll keep Gaz busy until I can find a cure. Now I'm gonna start walking! Dib walks along, holding his laptop. Agent Tuna Ghost appears on the screen. Agent Tuna Ghost: Agent Mothman, why were you talking out loud to yourself just then? Dib: I don't know... But I do that a lot. Agent Tuna Ghost: That's stupid. Dib: Isn't it? Dib begins walking upstairs, out of the lab. Dib: Anyhow, Agent Tuna Ghost, I want you to do some research for me. Cut to Membrane Lab. Professor Membrane stands out front behind a podium with Gaz and some scientists while the people of the press are gathered around. Prof. Membrane: People of the press! I have examined my daughter for hours now and have made a discovery! She suffers from a never before seen condition I have named "Pigmouth!" The press takes pictures of Gaz. Images of newspapers depicting Gaz as a pig fly by with headlines such as: "PIG MOUTH SWEEPS THE NATION OF GAZ" "IT DOESN'T TASTE LIKE CHICKEN..." "SOMEBODY MAKE ME A HAM SAMMICH!" and "THIS LITTLE PIGGY WENT... PSYCHO!" Time passes and Gaz is seen wearing a protective suit made to look like a pig, complete with a metal snout strapped to her face. Prof. Membrane walks back to the podium. Prof. Membrane: It has been ONE day already, and the cure for Pigmouth still eludes me! Prof. Membrane knocks the podium over. Prof. Membrane: This enviro-suit is not enough to protect my daughter. So, I have added a new wing to the Membrane Labs! The Pig Girl wing! The camera pans out to reveal an extension to the labs with electronic sign showing the Pig Girl symbol (Gaz's hair plus a pig snout). One of the signs is for Deelishus Weenie. Crowd: Ooooooh! Prof. Membrane: Co-sponsored by the Deelishus Weenie corporation! One monitor shows a very happy Gaz with a pig nose holding a hotdog. Cut to the lab interior. Gaz is now strapped to a suspended table, still wearing the pig snout. Onlookers watch from behind glass. The table move Gaz over to some scientists, who do experiments on Gaz using electric tools. In front of Gaz's containment chamber is a sign with a pig that says "MUST BE AS TALL AS THIS PIG GIRL." Gashlarg and Mitzi the Pain Oracle run up to the sign, fighting over a Pig Girl doll. The doll is thrown up into the air. Cut to Nub Bubbins' room, where Nub Bubbins' mom reads a book called "THE LITTLE PIG GIRL" to Nub Bubbins. One page shows Pig Girl Gaz surrounded by different foods with the text "PIG GIRL LOVED TO EAT STUFF" "YUM" . Cut to Gaz's containment chamber. Robotic arms place various food items into Gaz's mouth. Cut to the Uberplex, which is playing "PIG GIRL: THE MOVIE starring Bloaty!" Pig balloons hang from the theater, and a picture of Bloaty with a Gaz wig is next to the title. Alexi Aaronovich stands at the front of the ticket line. Revolti prints out a pair of tickets for him, but GIR (in dog suit) snags the tickets before Alexi can get them. GIR and his pig friend jump into the air. GIR: Yaaay! Cut to Gaz in a liquid-filled tube surrounded by piggies. Scientists with clipboards flank her sides. Gaz: You will pay, Dib! You will pay! Cut to Zim's house. Zim and GIR stand in the doorway (in their disguises), while Dib stands in front of them. Zim points and laughs at Dib. Zim: That's a good one! Help you?! Why should I help you? Dib: Hey! I helped you when we were transforming into giant bolognies! Zim: YOU'RE MAKING IT UP! Dib: Look, it's my sister, she's— Zim: Forget it, Dib! Gnomes! Away with him! The nearest pair of gnomes slide over to Dib and grab him. Dib struggles as they drag him to the edge of Zim's lawn. They barely toss him outside of Zim's parameter. The gnomes return to their positions. Zim: I'm going to destroy you all, Dib! Today! I've got it all set up. Dib gets up. Dib: Uh huh, that's nice, Zim. It can't be worse than what my sister's gonna do. Zim lifts up GIR. Zim: I've loaded GIR full of explosive monkeys and I'm about to— Dib: That's great, Zim! Maybe you can tell me about it later. I gotta go. Dib walks off. GIR: I got monkeys in me! Zim: Fool! Be gone with yoooou! Zim pulls GIR into his house and shuts the door. Dib walks down the sidewalk but stops when he sees a vision of a Gaz Pig Monster in front of him. Gaz Pig Monster: I bet you taste like a pig! Just like a pig! A little piggy! The Pig Monster bites down on Dib's head and disappears. Dib shudders and runs off. ACT BREAK Cut to Membrane Labs. Dib enters the room with Gaz's containment chamber, which is now dark and empty. Dib: Gaz, I— Gaz: Be quiet. Just look at the TV. Watch and know the evil you have brought upon me! Dib: Okay, but— Gaz points to a monitor screen. It shows a Bloaty's Pizza Hog commercial. It shows Bloaty standing behind a fake sunshine backdrop, surrounded by kids. Bloaty: Heeey! Look at Bloaty! Meatball, a small child, is absorbed into Bloaty's fat. Bloaty: We got the new pizza comin' out on Friday! And if you like the taste of stuff, you're gonna love this pizza! Meatball pops out from the opposite side of Bloaty. Pizza scene changers take up the screen, then leave to reveal Bloaty in front of a scary piggy background. Bloaty: This pizza don't taste like pig at all! Bloaty eats a slice and belches. Bloaty groans. Bloaty: Bloaty hate his life... Pizza scene changers appear again, then reveal Bloaty standing out in front of his restaurant. A voice over of Bloaty crying is heard. The words "BLOATY'S- FIRST RIGHT OFF ROUTE 5 -(555) 555-PORK" are seen. Gaz: I've never missed a new pizza day at Bloaty's. If this next one is ruined by your magical stupidity I would make you wish you had rabid weasels teleported into your skull instead of having a sister! A bright beam of light appears around Gaz as she hovers in the air. Gaz: I'll wait until you sleep and stuff all of your paranormal junk into your big, giant, paranormal head (a ring of fire appears around Dib, Gaz's eyes turn red) ''and chew on your eyeballs after I pluck them out! ''Dib runs out of the room screaming. Gaz returns to normal and munches on a hotdog while making strange noises with each bite. Gaz (eating hotdog): Eenuh! Eenuh! Cut to Mac Meaties. Dib sits in a booth with a hobo. Dib: And now she's gonna destroy my life if I can't figure out a way to lift the curse! But I don't know how! I am so dead! The hobo holds a cob of corn in a paper bag. Hobo: Yeah, I remember when I summoned the hog demon to curse my sister with Pigmouth and had to deal with having a cursed sister. Dib nods as he drinks through a straw loudly. Hobo: It was awful! The hobo gets out of the booth. Hobo: The whole ordeal turned me into a hobo! The hobo holds the corn up to his mouth. It slides out of the bag but misses his mouth and falls to the floor. The hobo lies down over the table. Hobo: Word of advice. Dib: I don't wanna become a hobo. Hobo: Oh. Dib's laptop (laying next to Dib) beeps. Dib: The Swollen Eyeball signal! The hobo gets up as Dib unfolds his laptop on the table. Dib: That's my secret society! Don't tell anyone! The hobo groans at a couple in the booth next to Dib's. Agent Tuna Ghost appears on Dib's laptop. Agent Tuna Ghost: Agent Mothman! We've been discussing your situation. We think we can help. The hobo gives a thumbs up and groans. Dib's Swollen Eyeball transmission ends. Da' Cone licks an ice-cream. The hobo stands in front of the doorway for a moment. Suddenly, the Hobo grabs Da' Cone and runs out of Mac Meaties holding him as he screams. Cut to Membrane Labs. Gaz makes more noises with each bite out of her hotdogs. Gaz: Eenuh! Eenuh! Eenuh! Eenuh! Eenuh! Dib enters the room with his laptop under his arm. Dib: Good news! I have something that can help you, maybe. I formed a plan using information I got from the Swollen Eyeball and a dirty hobo. But we'll have to make it out to Mystical Hill on the outskirts of town. Apparently, that place is mystical. Gaz: So how do we get there? This isolation tank doesn't exactly have a doorknob. Dib fiddles with some buttons on the containment chamber. Dib: I can hack into the security system and set you free from this cage. A compartment on the containment chamber opens and Dib places his laptop on it. Dib types on his laptop keyboard. Dib: But once I do, the guards will be after us. Gaz: Don't worry about the guards. I know my way around this place. Just break me out of this tank or I'll throw you out— Dib: Okay! I get the point. Dib presses a key and some locks on every corner of the tank turn. The whole tank covering then lifts up. Gaz then walks up to Dib and beats him up. She chokes, punches, swings, and stomps Dib repeatedly. They finally leave the room, Dib looking severely beaten. Gaz walks through a security laser beam and an alarm begins blaring. She throws Dib into an air shaft and jumps in after him. At the end of the shaft, Gaz kicks in some grating revealing that they are now outside of Membrane Labs hundreds of feet in the air over water and spiky rocks. They climb onto the railing and push up against the walls. They run into some Membrane Guards holding tasers in front of them. They look back and see buzz saws on mechanical arms sticking out of the air shaft. Hover defense bots appear in front of them and above them. They are seemingly surrounded. Cut to Mystical Hill. Dib and Gaz pull up in a smoking, totaled car with Gaz in the driver's seat. They exit, wearing beaver suits. Dib: Woo! What an incredible and daring escape! That was amazing! Gaz: I liked the part where that giant robot squid launched missiles at us. A helicopter is heard. Searchlights from bellow shine. Membrane Guard (V.O.): We're only tryin' to help ya, Pig Girl! Give yourself up! Come on, piggy! Dib and Gaz shed their beaver suits. Dib: Science won't help you, Gaz. Gaz: Science won't replace your head after I tear it from your torso if you don't hurry! Dib: Right. Dib pulls out a spelldrive. Dib: I got this spelldrive from the Swollen Eyeball. If it works, we can use it to travel to the realm of the very creature who gave you your weird pork powers! A searchlight shines on them. Membrane Guard (V.O.): There they are! Get 'em! Get 'em! Gaz: Do it already! Dib: Yeah! Okay! Activating spelldrive now! Dib opens the spelldrive and a blinding white light pours out of it. It hovers in the air and sucks Gaz in. Dib's arm is sucked in but Dib pulls it out. He screams and clings to the car but is eventually pulled in. The Membrane Guard drops his flashlight. Membrane Guard: We're too late! They transformed into a book! I told 'em this would happeeeen! Cut to the Realm of the Shadowhog. A vortex opens and Dib materializes next to Gaz as he screams. They walk up to a Pig Temple. Dib: Wow! Look at all that pork! Gaz: I've seen more. Laughing is heard. The ground shakes. The Shadowhog bursts out in front of them. Shadowhog: I am the Shadowhog! What is it that you want from me, child who conjured me and child who was blessed with pig senses? Dib: Um, Shadowpig... My sister doesn't want your curse anymore. Shadowhog: The most bless-ed of gifts you call a curse? You insult me! You said your sister really— Dib: Was a special, lovely person! Yes, yes, but we're in a bit of a hurry, we're— Shadowhog: Did you conjure up a Big Head Demon to give you a big head? Man, that is a really big head! Dib: No, I didn't! It's this way on its own! Now can you help us or not!? Shadowhog: There is the terrible trial of the Shadowhog, but it is a foolish thing to attempt to give back such a wonderful gift. Even more foolish to think that you will pass the trial! Should you fail, little girl, you will suffer a fate worse than your worse nightmares! Gaz: There's no fate worse than this, except for the fate of my brother if this doesn't work. Dib: She's right, you know. Shadowhog: So, you agree to undertake... the trial? Gaz: Yeah. I guess so. Shadowhog: Then follow me into the sacred hall of the stinking piggy of stinking pigginess! Shadowhog walks into the hall. Gaz and Dib follow. A large doorway opens at the end of the hall. Shadowhog looks towards Gaz. Gaz grunts and walks inside. Dib follows, but the Shadowhog stops him. Shadowhog: No! Only the Pig Girl may come inside. You must wait outside. A pair of floating pig guards appear. They shoot beams into Dib's head, which allow them to drag him out. Dib groans. Dib: But she's helpless without my knowledge of the supernatural! You can't do this! The doors close. Dib: Wait! The pig guards reach the entrance and lift Dib into the air. They drop Dib and he groans. The pig guards suddenly swell into massive pig brutes. Dib runs up and into one of their legs and simply bounces off. Dib: Let me through! That's my little sister in there! There's no way she can stand up to that giant pig thing, no offense. The pig guards grunt. Dib points off. Dib: Hey look! There's something a pig thing would like! The pig guards look, grunting in curiosity. Dib runs passed them. They run after him. One of them grabs Dib by the head. Cut to the trial room. It's a large coliseum. Shadowhog: Let the dreaded trial of the Shadowhog begin! Are you ready, child? Gaz: Sure. Why not? Shadowhog: Very well! (grunts) How tall am I? Gaz plays with a yoyo. Gaz: I'm guessing about 8 feet, six inches. Shadowhog: I guess so. Next, what is the secret code for unlimited lives in Super Kicky Fighter? Gaz: Up up down down left right left right A B B A start. Shadowhog: Really? Cool. The trial is over! Yay for you! Shadowhog claps. Cut to the outside. Dib is pushed by a pig guard and is sent sliding along the ground. The force of the blow causes the ground to shred under Dib. '' ''Back inside, Gaz plays an video game with Shadowhog on a pig console system plugged into a pig TV while sitting on a pig couch. On the TV screen, one character hops on top of the other. Outside, a pig guard holds onto Dib's legs and beats him against the ground as he yells. The guard lets go of Dib and he slams into the ground, leaving an imprint. The other guard then picks Dib up and twirls him around. Inside, an ice cream man hands Gaz a cone. '' ''Outside, Dib slams into a pedestal. Inside, the Shadowhog lifts his robes and reveals a ballerina outfit. He does a little dance. Outside, Dib runs towards the temple but the pig guard lands right behind him. The force of his jump propels Dib into a wall. Inside, Gaz and Shadowhog have a tea party. Gaz: Yeah, Zim's an alien but so what. He's too dumb to take over the Earth. Why should I have to listen to Dib's constant— Dib: Stoooop! Dib runs in. A guard slides up to him and grabs him by the leg. Dib: She's just a little girl! It's not her fault she failed your test! Look! It's me you want! I cast the spell on her because I wanted to see what it would do before trying it on myself! She doesn't deserve to suffer your punishment! Shadowhog: Uuh, actually, she— Gaz: No. Let's hear him out. Dib walks up. Dib: Mister Pig Monster, spare my sister and punish me instead! Punish me instead! Shadowhog: Ummm... Gaz nods. Shadowhog: Okaaaay. Shadowhog looms over Dib. Shadowhog mutters and places a headpiece of toilet scrubbers on Dib's head. Shadowhog: As punishment, you must clean my filthy toilet of filthy piggy filth! It's over there! Shadowhog points and an outhouse bursts out of the ground. It opens, revealing another realm. Inside is a scary pig-shaped toilet just beyond a path over a lava pit. Dib: That's it? That isn't so bad! Dib walks into the outhouse, singing to himself. He looks down into the toilet bowl and screams. Dib: No! Nooo! Oooh! Naaa! Oooh! Oh! Cut to Bloaty's Pizza Hog. Gaz and Professor Membrane sit in a booth. Gaz eats pizza. Professor Membrane: Sorry about imprisoning you and turning you into a media freak, honey! It was in the name of science and... hey, where's your brother? Gaz: He's in a pig world netherworld cleaning out toilets with his head. Membrane laughs. Professor Membrane: You're my funny child! Cut to the coliseum. Dib can be heard groaning and holding back vomit from inside the outhouse. Dib (O.S.): I'm sorry! Sorry! Sorry! The outhouse slides into the ground. Category:Episode Transcripts Category:Season 2 Transcripts